<h2 id="fadc9aa2-d94a-4f1a-a234-af917320cae7" data-toc-id="fadc9aa2-d94a-4f1a-a234-af917320cae7" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;"><span style="color: rgb(169, 204, 227);"><strong>Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life...</strong></span></h2><p id="fadc9aa2-d94a-4f1a-a234-af917320cae7">**please note that since writing this, I have stopped using the word Feldenkrais. I have since realized and learnt more about the Zionist origins of the method. If you would like to learn more, there is another blog. I have sinced changed the name to Somatic Movement — while using the name only to be accountable to that history. </p><p id="fadc9aa2-d94a-4f1a-a234-af917320cae7"></p><p>I have identified with each word to the point where I lost myself. I grew up in an abusive household where the cornerstones of my learning were,</p><p style="text-align: justify;">1) being wrong or making a mistake was unforgivable.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">2) I was small and could not fight back</p><p style="text-align: justify;">3) care justified violence.</p><img src="https://letcheck.b-cdn.net/2813/cltpe1mj60f2ocy8za0tie17q.jpg" style="width: 379px; height: 379px; cursor: pointer;"><p><br><span style="color: rgb(5, 2, 2);">Adulthood was chaotic for me until I found something that made living worth it. Before I found it, I was riddled with the fear of living with depression, chronic pain and anxiety my whole life. That thought pushed me to long for death in any way.</span></p><h2 id="53c4ae54-ce69-45c7-a0b3-cf9ef3192cdc" data-toc-id="53c4ae54-ce69-45c7-a0b3-cf9ef3192cdc" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;"><span style="color: rgb(169, 204, 227);"><strong>Enter in Somatic Movement Method...</strong></span></h2><p><span style="color: rgb(5, 2, 2);">I found the method in the most Somatic Movement (Feldenkrais) way possible- doing nothing but being me. I was at a crossroads in my life. I knew that the path I was on was not working. Not because I physically changed but because I found my place. With Somatic Movement (Feldenkrais), I was allowed to be me, a perfectly okay human being. The way I was treated, the encouragement to take care of myself and the knowledge that I was powerful enough convinced me to continue doing lessons. I stood up, still in pain, but felt so different.&nbsp;For someone in pain to feel different is exhilarating because we tend to be stuck on only ever feeling pain. That was my first lesson – that it’s not always about pain. A couple of weeks later, I&nbsp; enrolled in a Feldenkrais Professional Training Program! And now, seven years later, I am a different person.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></p><p><span style="color: rgb(5, 2, 2);">In the past seven years, I learned that pain, anxiety and depression (PAD) are all the same! It is the reaction to my living experience; when one ignites, they all ignite. My specific reaction to PAD is suicidal thoughts. The idea of living with PAD for the rest of my life sends me to a dark place. Feeling pain for the rest of my life creates anxiety. The mix of anxiety and pain causes depressive episodes, which leads me to convince myself that nothing will ever change.There were so many times when I thought my life would be different. I believed that if I could achieve this one random movement, I would heal. But in the back of my mind, I braced for the worst. I imagined trucks hitting me and having to start the healing journey all over again. Before I could escape that, my pain was back, and I realized I was in a depressive episode. I was furious and doubted the method rather than myself. I constantly reached for perfection, became annoyed at my mistakes and found myself repeating the cycle. It was harmful and tiring. The highs were high, but the lows were very low.&nbsp;</span></p><div class="iframe-wrapper" style="display: flex; justify-content: flex-start;"><iframe src="https://iframe.mediadelivery.net/embed/29280/6f309a50-0e37-402c-83b5-e21f0fcf1b21?autoplay=false" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" style="max-width: 100%; text-align: left;"></iframe></div><p></p><h2 id="f0b1b3f5-058a-4233-affe-3f63eed5d3e7" data-toc-id="f0b1b3f5-058a-4233-affe-3f63eed5d3e7" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;"><span style="color: rgb(169, 204, 227);"><strong>During an eye-opening segment, I decided the cycle needed to stop.</strong></span></h2><p style="text-align: start;">I recorded a poem for my chronic pain and “Things to remember when the pain was very hurtful”. I told myself to love my pain for telling me something was wrong. It hadn’t occurred to me that the pain was me. Pain and anxiety don’t exist somewhere outside of myself trying to hurt me. Both are signs that something needs attention. Every time I felt pain, I listened to this recording. I listened to my vulnerable voice explain that I needed to be easier on myself. I needed to respect the signs that I was not well rather than push them away. Rather than be angry about the pain, I could be thankful for the warning telling me to lie down and be curious</p><p style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: rgb(5, 2, 2);">&nbsp;Before Feldenkrais, I did not realize I could stop hurting myself. Seven years into it, I still have pain, but I always have a choice. Above all, that’s how Feldenkrais saved my life.</span></p>

Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life... feldenkrais

This is how Feldenkrais saved my life

Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life...

Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life... until Somatic Movement changed something

During an eye-opening segment, I decided the cycle needed to stop.

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Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life... until Somatic Movement changed something

Chronic pain, depression and anxiety have been three great plagues in my life... until Somatic Movement changed something

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